


"I love you, I always have"

by brightasstars



Series: Prompts [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Ficlet, Human AU, M/M, Prompt Fic, Stargazing, Tumblr Prompt, best friend to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightasstars/pseuds/brightasstars
Summary: “In all these years, you never told me what your wish was,” Magnus whispered looking at the stars.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774717
Comments: 18
Kudos: 107





	"I love you, I always have"

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue prompt on Tumblr, Anonymous asked - “I love you, I always have.” like childhood friends to lovers maybe -

When they looked back at the sky, the stars seemed shining brighter than ever. 

Alec had never imagined that on his twentieth year, his usual stargazing August night with Magnus, would have ended this way. Warm, wet and dreamy. He felt the ghost of Magnus’ touch on his lips and the heat of their entwined fingers, and his mind went back on the day their paths crossed for the very first time, when Magnus entered in his life and changed it forever.

They were only nine years old and Magnus had just arrived from Indonesia with his family. He didn’t know a word of the language, he was thin and he seemed so lost and scared, and Alec was instantly enchanted by that shy smile, so soft that made his almond eyes grow longer and sparkle.

Alec still remembered the moment his teacher’s eyes stopped on him, and her index finger raised to point at the empty place next to him, encouraging Magnus to step closer and sit.

He couldn’t tell why, but he recalled that his heart started beating faster as he saw the new boy approaching, and that sensation had never stopped since then. In all the years they had been friends, his heart never failed to quicken, whenever Magnus was next to him. Not even once.

He became a harbor and a shelter and Magnus became the extravagance and the craziness. He was steady and resilient for both, just as Magnus was joyful and willing to risk. 

They played baseball in the park, rode their bikes to the river banks, skated, swam, strolled around, shared burgers, ran and laughed. They built a house on an oak’s tree in Alec’s garden where they hid and shared their secrets, read books and cuddled under a thick blanket. Alec had always been shy and introverted and in Magnus’ openness he found a way to express himself and his feelings. Because even if he loved to make fun and play, Magnus was a great listener, always waiting for him to be ready.

As they grew up, they shared almost everything, briefs and socks, sweaters and swimming costumes, cigarettes and weed, beer and alcohol, everything. The only thing that seemed to be a uncovered territory was intimacy. 

Magnus was very aware of how beautiful he was, he liked to experiment, but he would have died to have a kiss from his best friend. Instead, he stopped flirting with him on a July hot night when after coming back from watching a movie, they stopped to have an ice-cream. He licked at it staring at Alec, slowly tracing his tongue on the icy crystals, hoping that his message arrived to him loud and clear. 

To his great disappointment, Alec’s hazel eyes turned to the ground after a few licks and he seemed confused, and embarrassed. Damn. Magnus wasn’t even aware of what he was doing to him. 

Alec had always known that he loved Magnus with all his heart, but until he was around twelve, he had always thought that it was just in a platonic way. But as he saw his best friend turning from a child into a boy and then a young man, he realized that the only thing he wanted was to kiss him, touch him everywhere, until they would have become both breathless and dizzy with desire.

So when he felt all the blood leave his brain and gather elsewhere, as he watched Magnus licking his ice-cream and looking at him, he decided it was time to stop. He couldn’t lose his friend, the other half of his soul, his companion and confidant. That’s how he started to push Magnus into every boy and girl that seemed to like him, in his desperate attempt of falling out of love with the only person in the world he had always wanted, but knew he could have never have.

Years passed, but no other soul or body seemed to fit for Magnus, no matter how hard he tried, it was always Alec and his arms he came back to. 

After the same high school, they chose to study at the same University, they shared a small loft together, and kept on trying to find their ways. They were together, but something was missing. For both. There was a veil of sadness in the way they looked at each other from the opposite sides of their tables, or in the way their smiles faded when they entered in two separate rooms at night. 

Soon they would have become adults and what would have been of them then?

When Magnus took his hand to take their after midnight walk in the park for their usual falling stars sightseeing, Alec thought that he couldn’t live with the regret of having buried his feelings inside of him. Losing Magnus without ever having the courage to bare his soul to him, was even worse than deciding to do it.

They were laying down on the grass, hand in hand, looking at the sky, and made their wish.

They weren’t aware, but they both expressed the same one every year.

The air was humid with dew, and there was silence around them, just some rustling of the wind or some random flap of wings.

“In all these years, you never told me what your wish was,” Magnus whispered looking at the stars.

Alec’s heart skipped a beat, and almost stilled, before speeding up frantically against his ribs. He licked his lips, trying to find the right words to say, but his heart seemed to have other plans, “because I know it’s something I cannot have.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling his voice tremble on the last words.

Magnus rose up on one elbow and looked at him. He was so beautiful in his shyness, his cheeks lightly flushed, his chest rising quickly as he tried to catch some breath.

“Also,” he added, “neither did you.”

Magnus chuckled and let himself fall on his back again.

“You’re right.” He crossed his arms under his neck and spoke again. “Because it’s something I already have and I’m scared to lose. I’m afraid of asking too much.”

Alec turned his head and looked at him, “It’s kinda the same for me too.”

Then he sat, pulling his knees up to his chin and burying his head between them.

“If I tell you now …,” he paused feeling his heartbeat echo in his head, “promise me nothing will change.”

Magnus looked at his wide back and his long body curled up in a ball, he was scared, “Of course, I promise.”

Alec looked up at the blue expanse above their heads when a milky speckle tainted the darkness. He closed his eyes, inhaled the fresh summer air, and let his feelings come to his mouth.

“You arrived in my life like a shooting star, Magnus. You have been my secret wish throughout all these years. I love you, I always have. Probably since that very first day.” His voice had been soft, almost a quiver.

A warm hand curled around his shoulder, squeezing it and then tugging. Alec resisted at first, but then followed the movement, closing his eyes. He felt a moist, soft, tremulous sensation coming from his barely parted lips.

A kiss. 

He opened his eyes and found Magnus staring at him, “How fortuitous, I have been making the same wish too,” and he leaned forward to kiss him again.

Their hands slid behind their backs, closing them both in a tight embrace as they looked up at the sky again, together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @brightasstars
> 
> If you're 18 join us on the [ The Hunter's Moon Discord](https://discord.gg/RhZPtsd)  
> 


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